South Island of New Zealand must be one of the most unspoilt places on Earth. Only a third of the Kiwi population lives here; just over a million people. We had some of the best times of our lives here, windsurfing, surfing, walking and indulging in some class A adrenaline...

Adrenalin Island
natural high paradise
Unquestionably New Zealand is the world's capital of adventure and deliberate insanity. Anything ever imagined as being radically mad, impossible or clinically certifiable has been developed here - as a tourist attraction. Where else in the world can completely normal people leading civilised, even mundane lives, come to and just suddenly freak out?

There's something more than just mountain air in Queenstown; the Kiwi capital of these adventures. The electric atmosphere from the world's largest congregation of adrenalin junkies sends you wild. Yet most of the South Island cities have a real buzz about them, making them great places to stop over on your travels. Dunedin is the socialising equivalent of Wellington (North Island); another cultural and social whirlpool as opposed to just a centre of commerce. It's also a university town with all the vitality of youth and ripping surf.

Some towns, like Kiakora, have grown into the "tourist eating" equivalent of a Venus fly-trap. Prices are high and business is on the tip of everyone's forked tongues. Villages attempting to create tourism out of anything and everything, and the most tenuous or dodgy links are exploited to the max. "Bethlehem" for instance has the celestial Bethlehem Bakery and cherished Bethlehem Butchers. Scottish and Irish themes are everywhere and even some Viking history has been uncovered

The mentality of people is diverse in these out-of-reach towns. Don't be afraid of first impressions of mean and grizzly looking fishermen; these Kiwis are the most wonderfully approachable people. With so few of them around they're always willing and curious to chat.

The Bluff, South Island's Most Southern Point. 'The asshole of New Zealand" we were warned. "Well, at least everywhere else is stuck up it!" retort the locals.

In search of somewhere to go windsurfing at the Bluff, the most southern point of the South Island, we chanced upon an unlikely turn-off towards a decaying and sinister-looking boat yard. We approached nervously, assessing our situation. Suddenly a car screeches alongside spraying us with gravel and all hell breaks loose - we're faced with fangs dripping with intent and the hot breath of death of a Rottweiler, gnawing its way through our window! Holding him back (barely) is an arm the size of my legs but blue in tattoos, connected to a body and face twice as vicious as the Rottweiler's and equally tattoo-festooned...

Wedging the car rapidly into reverse, I gurgled "Awfully sorry dear chap, must have taken a wrong turn!" whereupon with impeccable politeness his reply was; "Nah mate, going sailing ay? Got the right spot for it - follow me..." Sure enough, Mr. fearsome-tattoo-features introduces us to the most unusual and probably the friendliest windsurfing scene in the world...

The scarred fishermen of the Bluff, with fingers missing, screws loose and tougher than a Tiga, go windsurfing only when it's too windy for fishing. Which is basically a minimum windspeed of Force nine from Antarctic storms. These guys are seriously hardcore. From the corrugated iron shed which looked like a card trick, still standing way beyond its years more out of habit than design, the giant form of Ricky Topi, wrapped up in an old-style diving wetsuit, marched out with his pre-rigged windsurfing kit in an unsurpassed moment of surrealism. I half expected him to announce "I am Enzo, the world free-diving champion - some say the world's most dangerous sport...."

Despite his grizzly bear proportions, Ricky's biggest sail was a 6m. That day I was getting blown off the water with a 5.5m and he hadn't even pulled his downhaul on yet. Sailing with the momentum of a rhino in a Williams Renault, Ricky hadn't ever really been challenged for speed before, until he had to sheet in against this unlikely pommie. Whereupon he tore his boom arm clean off in the struggle, only to go get another one and tear that one off also! (BWA races were never like this!)

Ricky's great grandfather was once chief of the Southern Hemisphere's equivalent to Tiree, "Roapuke Island". We were lucky enough to spend a long weekend here (most of their summer!), voyaging the high seas on his fishing boat. Mustering the sheep was the highlight, on an island where horse-back is the only transport. It hardly mattered we never got the wind or surf, because in the calm conditions the snorkelling was out of this world; incredible underwater visibility for gathering crayfish and pauas for lunch (while keeping an eye out for great whites) was an exceptional experience.

Lake Sailing
I've sailed at some impressive inland venues, the Gorge and Lake Garda being a few. They have their good points. But the lakes in New Zealand gave us some of the best windsurfing of our lives, with winds every afternoon from 15 knots to a cyclonic Force 11!!! Driving our way up the central South Island we sailed on about seven different Lakes, some of which were so big we found head-high surf breaking! But not once did we see another sailor; in fact it was extremely rare to see anything other than the natural beauty of sheer mountains bursting from the horizons and lake shores. Sunlight sparked off mountain peaks where snow and black rock churned like zebra pate. Some lakes were an luminous turquoise from the glaciers, others blue as oceans and some even mushy pea green. But the waters were always crystal clear and drinkable.

All had easy access which you just chance upon if you're not in a rush. And that's part of the fun, cruising round the beautiful landscape chancing any old lake and finding wind was like Christmas every day. Lake Hawea gets swell, that's my only tip, but all are stunning and even if you're a wave-head please go check them out. The sailing captivated us with a spiritual commitment and a unique kind of excitement; that of exploration, or being wonderfully lost or free. The essence of windsurfing itself.

Food
Healthy eating here is good value, as the country is overflowing with fresh fruit and local veg produce. Buying straight from the farms at the side of the road you'll get sweetcorn at 10p and avocados for 20p, three kilos of apples for £2 and a tonne of kiwis for tuppence.

Fresh fish, enough for two fatsos, for £2, a kilo of sausages for 40p and steak or mince for as little as £1.50 a kilo. However, New Zealand lamb is more expensive than in the U.K...?!

With a strong Asian influence, noodles and take-aways are also very cheap and even tastier than back home. Maori managements serve the biggest portions and I'd recommend visiting one of their fish and chips shops for more of a delicacy than a greasy fry-up.

You can live on a minimum of about £30 a week or blow a stack more in New Zealand's wonderful variety of restaurants, which again are relatively cheap.

Drink
New Zealand wine is world class with some outstanding local creations worth trying like boysenberry wine. The vineyards on Jacksons Road in Marlborough produce reputably the best wines in New Zealand. Wines are from £3 upwards and I recommend a spot of wine tasting wherever possible. However, I found their beers bland and zero choice beyond lager.

The Interislander
The ferry service which links the North and South Islands runs frequently with three different ferries. The scenery is quite breathtaking and unlike the major shipping ports we're used to in Europe, the arrival at Picton on the South Island after three hours, is rather like arriving at Studland after crossing on the Sandbanks chain ferry in Poole. If two of you travel by car it's likely to cost more than £200 return. Call reservations on 0800 802802.

Snowboarding
Their winters don't get quite as cold as ours and are way better because there's snow-boarding galore. Queenstown is the most popular resort, Mount Cook some of the most extreme and Taranaki excellent also. The price of a snowboarding holiday here, excluding the flight, is significantly cheaper than Europe. The main season is from May until October.