If I were an extra terrestrial being cruising past planet Earth in my flying saucer, I'd probably drop in on Tarifa as it would appear to be a universally unusual spot. Through my alien eyes I'd see the two land masses of Africa and Europe as tantalisingly close as the finger tips in Michelangelo's Sistene Chapel paint
ing (The Creation of Adam), and exploding between them would be the dazzling energy of two seas battling for possession of this uniquely tempting space. Unfortunately I'm only human, but nevertheless I still go to Tarifa as often as I can by jumbo jet or jumbo van...

Tarifa!
by Guy Cribb

Whether you're a Martian, a windsurfer or a suicidal maniac (or any combination thereof), Tarifa is one of the most fascinating places on Earth. Yes, there is truth in the rumours that Tarifa's suicide rate is high, but there's also a strong likelihood of experiencing some of the wildest windsurfing condi
tions of your life. It's the windiest place in Europe, boasting more days a year of Force 7 than anywhere else - no bull - a bold statement that in itself reveals some honest facts about the town's general insanity. General Insanity himself is the town's Mayor, who despite Tarifa's outrageous wind statistics expects to market the place as the end of the Costa Del Sol. Not quite as out-to-lunch as the Greeks, whose mythology suggested that Tarifa was in fact the end of the world! But they weren't far wrong, for if you break your mast in a screaming Levante, or venture on to the beach without your lead bikini, it could well be so. Tarifa, as far as the average tourist is concerned, is indeed 'the end of the world', and for that reason has developed only as a windsurfing location.

Tarifa doesn't really have any seasons. It is always summer. But one day every year around Christmas time it rains and the barren mountainous surroundings suddenly experience autumn, winter and spring overnight. The dusty 'Wild West' landscape is transformed into lush green virgin meadows, full of forest and flowering rolling hills, resembling Yorkshire on a 'Last of the Summer Wine' style sunny day. But the mountains to the north and the surrounding beauty blended with ancient Spanish culture are not the most staggering features of the area.
Look beyond Tarifa's clean sands and you'll notice another mountainous region. If you peer closely enough you'll spy not only distant buildings and villages, but also clock faces on towers and perhaps the intricate pattern of a Moroccan carpet. The enormous cliffs leaping out of the Straits stretch 840 metres high to the summit of the Sidi Musa, the tallest Moroccan mountain you can see, a mere eight miles away. At night you would never believe that the orange dots are actually illuminating the hectic Moroccan night life, and not part of mainland Europe.
Turning back north to face (a relatively small) Europe,  Tarifa's countryside reflects African beauty and space. This beautiful backdrop to the windsurfing action is lined by a phenomenal amount of windmills. Tall, skinny white poles spinning madly not to grind corn, but to generate electricity. Soon there will be more than two thousand of them, but they aren't an eyesore. From a windsurfer's perspective they represent the main feature of Tarifa: the incredible, unprecedented, inhuman, monstrous, hideous, quite unbelievable, dangerous, hard
core, relentless Levante wind.

The Wind
No longer do the howling gales from the East bring the threat of Moorish invasion, nor do we smell the fearsome Sahara desert. Windsurfers are content to do battle and dance in harmony to the exceptionally windy conditions which the Mediterranean pumps out like a moon-sized hair dryer switched permanently to 11. 
"Trentys free dayz viv sfree two or sfree seven in a row!" How many times have you heard this kind of expression? Plenty if you've been to Tarifa. Barring last year when the Levante said manyana, Tarifa is renowned for disgracefully strong winds which relentlessly hassle you all summer. June, July and August are the months where more often than not your expensive quiver of summer slalom boards and big racy sails are left melting in the heat, while the three five you've never been able to sell is suddenly worth millions.
It was in these terrifying conditions that our man Whitey got blown down the famous Tarifa speed course to set the production board World Speed Record, and of course where Bjoern clocked over 44 knots. On the first day of racing at last year's European Championships in Tarifa it was gusting sixty five fu##ing knots!
However, it's not like this every day or all year round. The wind can change direction or strength like a school playground rumour: "It was onshore." "No it was offshore." "Force 12." "No Force 2." In fact, in the winter, despite being able to sail almost every day you need a full range of kit to cover the extreme variety of conditions. This winter in three days we saw cross offshore Force 8 swing 180  to crossonshore Force 6 and then dead onshore Force 3 to 4. Those few days represented the main winds you find in Tarifa.
The Levante is the Mediterranean wind which fuels the high octane speed course and regularly howls in excess of Force 8, blowing cross
offshore for most of the seven miles of beach. You can tell it's coming when Morocco looks hazy and you can't sleep at night for the haunting whistles and stuttering shutters. Although most common in the summer months, the Levante is fearsome and stormy in the winter. It often reaches as far up the coast as Canos De Meca, and if it's really screaming I've even seen 3.5m weather as far as Cadiz!
The Poniente is the Atlantic wind which brings swell and cooler temperatures and is the most likely wind in the winter.  It can vary between a fickle Force 2 and a testing Force 10, and creates pretty good wave sailing conditions in the bay nowadays.
The south wind rarely blows more than a Force 4 to 5, and in fact rarely blows. When it does it's onshore and the shorebreak can be sucky and uninviting - especially if you've just suffered a week of Force 10 Levante. But expect a day or two of it per month all year round.
The north wind is even more of a rarity. As a strong Poniente dies out, the wind might swing to the north creating gusty cross-offshore conditions from the right, suitable for wave sailing in the bay, or if you're prepared to make the journey to the hot surfing spot, El Palmar goes off!

The Pueblo
The first time I was in Tarifa I was staying in my high top van, and the low arch at the end of the main road lined with windsurfing shops was impassable to me. In fact, as the camp site had everything I needed it wasn't until my final day that I took a stroll through this inviting portal. I was astounded at what I discovered...
A cobbled street split in four directions, each meandering gently out of sight to accommodate the curvature of Spanish architecture. By passing through the arch I had apparently travelled back through time to the middle ages. I flowed downhill on a ribbon of flavour from a Tapas Bar below, trying to convince myself that the ghostly rumble of Andalusian dialect was of this age and not of the time the buildings depicted. The old town contained within the castle grounds has a timeless feeling of tranquillity. Strolling the streets in silence during siesta, I peered into the lazy archways of flowering courtyard gardens or through tiled and marbled doorways into the untouched Spanish culture. Old women like black cats retreated into courtyards as I drifted by like a casual time traveller. I was in shock. What kind of a place is this? An ancient Spanish culture flourishing in its own healthy ecosystem behind the towering walls of Tarifa. It was some time before I chanced upon a clearing and came into contact with humans of the twentieth century sipping café con leche, and only at that moment did I spring back to reality.
Admittedly the town has overgrown the castle grounds somewhat, and now, amongst the church spires and castle defences, construction cranes stand like steel vultures. Modern Spanish housing lurks either side of the main street and apartment blocks a la Costa Del Sol have gathered here. However, tourism will never kill the place completely - although the town continues to seep outwards, few right-minded tourists ever come back to a place where they were overtaken by a plastic bag on the main road doing 90mph and where their grandmother was mysteriously buried on the beach in a sand storm. Plus which, there is a low chance of any high-rise development, simply because it would get blown over!
So don't be deceived by first impressions of what appears on the outside to be an ugly Spanish town. Within this pale body lies the mellow beating heart and slow Spanish pulse of timeless Tarifa. Never have I been to such a truly Spanish part of Spain. Tapas bars serve traditional simple local dishes, and you can still buy a plate of fresh fish or squid for 100 pts (50p!). A meal out nibbling tapas might cost less than a pint of British bitter!
In winter I've seen the streets lifeless and heavy with fog, and apart from the complete madness of fiesta times, the town rarely even shivers. However, come summer the streets shake with the pilgrimage of European windsurfers raving at over nine thousand revs. Bleached hair and fluorescent outfits outnumber the neon lights of local bars and discos where winter's Flamenco is overshadowed by the monotony of tequila and cheap red wine rave music. If you get to bed before sunrise in the summer you've missed half the party, which believe me is absolutely rockin'. To cater for the Brits Tarifa now even has a Kebab shop... Times are changing.

The Windsurfing
Despite so many great windsurfing hot spots in Greece and Turkey within easy reach by cheap charter flight, Tarifa remains the most popular European windsurfing location, especially with pro sailors. This is unlikely to change; with conditions ranging from mirror smooth water to monstrous Atlantic swells, predominantly sunny weather and the almost exotic ease of living, Tarifa is considered paradise by many.
Whether you're living in secluded luxury in the Hurricane Hotel, enjoying the creature comforts of home in Las Canas, or laid back in the bus, you'll be living on part of the seven miles of sandy beach. Because of the nature and size of Tarifa's bay, you can sail in a real variety of conditions. This next section will help you to choose your location depending on the wind direction.

Levante
The windiest spot in a Levante is at Playa Balenarios or in the Straits. These are the most windward locations of the bay and both are in town, so before the wind has wound up to full strength they're sometimes the only place to sail. Make your way through town to the most southern point of Western Europe and park for free by Balenarios Disco, taking care not to venture onto the military island. Launch from either the harbour to sail in the Mediterranean or from the beach to sail in the Atlantic. If this crazy place - this meeting of two oceans - was in America, there would probably be a huge sign telling you that "You are now entering the Atlantic Ocean!" But beware - these are the most dangerous tidal locations to sail from and generally an unnecessary risk when there is good wind.
Still in town heading north-west, the next choice is to launch from Las Canas apartments, with plenty of parking space. If you were on a Tarific Holiday you'd probably be staying here, so you'd just stroll down from your bedroom. The beauty of this end of the beach is that it's the beginning of the speed course, so within a few seconds of launching in cross-offshore winds you'll find yourself a few miles downwind, having never ventured more than a few yards from the shore.
The Football Stadium, or Las Lances, is about half-a-mile from Las Canas apartments and offers similar conditions. This is where the PBA hold their annual Speed Slalom extravaganza. Again there is more than enough free parking, but be prepared to walk 200 yards to the water's edge. In the past the wind has been cleanest here, but with the recent development of new apartments this may no longer be the case. 
The next mile or so of beach is inaccessible until you get to Rio Jara, the river and campsite. You can only launch in this central location if you are staying here, so you'll be sailing solely with fellow campers. The small river mouth offers okay wave sailing conditions, but nothing to write home about.
Moving on down the main road past Rio Jara, any of the next few left-hand turnings will take you down to the beach. You'll find an enormous car park known as "The Runway" because of its long narrow dimensions. This runs all the way down to the Hotel Dos Mares (near which you'll find a beach bar called Hawaii serving good food), and could be the most ideal place to sail from, despite around 100 yards of unspoilt sandy beach to stroll down.
Camping Tarifa is only accessible if you are staying there. It never appealed to me as a campsite because of the regimented format of parking in bays, but as a windsurfing location it's very good and easy to launch from. There are no rocks at any of the locations mentioned so far, but from the next launching spot they begin to raise their ugly heads.
Hostel Million is the next and most popular location in the winter. There's not so much parking space compared to the other venues but this generates a friendly cosmopolitan scene. Sometimes you have to pay about 150 pts for the day, but it's worth it as there's less of a walk to the water and there's a better wave. By now we are far enough round the bay for the wind to be almost cross-shore as opposed to dead offshore right back up in the town. At low tide one must be aware of rocks, but in the clear waters they aren't really a problem.
However, as we venture downwind into the final mile of Tarifa's bay, rocks do become a hazard, partly because some are camouflaged as sand. The worst rocks
are indicated by flags, but with recent years of shore drift more and more rocks are ganging up on us. Launching at high tide, wearing boots and wading out (basically using common sense) eliminates most of the problems, and once sailing there's nothing to worry about from 20 yards off the beach.
The next launch site is a turning off the main road right by the bus shelter 100m before the Hurricane Hotel. Here, adjacent to the hotel grounds is the Mistral hire centre. Check with the management what the scene is with broken fins before you rent just in case. The best thing this venue has going for it, other than being the closest you can get to the water's edge with your vehicle, is its immediate proximity to the Hurricane's salad bar conservatory, beautifully situated overlooking the bay back up to Tarifa.
Flanking the Hurricane to its right is the Torre De La Pena campsite (my personal favourite), where you can stay on a small cliff top and the sea really is a stone's throw away. Again only accessible for sailing if you are staying there.
Moving yet further up the coast you come to Punta Paloma, more commonly known as Las Dunas for an obvious reason - a two hundred foot sand dune. This is the most popular place to sail in the summer, and with the "Spin Out" beach bar is also a place of natural beauties, plus some unnaturals left over from the night before! Turn off by the supermarket and bakery to park in the open field (extremely bouncy track and sometimes a fee), or take the road immediately after the hotel restaurant half a mile further on and turn left again into a concrete car park after the campsite. Either venue allows you to sail in this smaller bay in cross-shore conditions. The swell and chop is biggest here, making for good jumping as well as blasting. There are no rocks to worry about but the shorebreak can be testing.
If you're hungry for waves then the hour's drive up to Canos De Meca is well worth it. Keep on the main Cadiz road until Vejar then follow signs to Trafalger and El Palmar - Canos De Meca is signposted and easy to find. Beware of rocks, especially when launching; there's a narrow channel which you must stick to. Crowding can be ridiculous even in the winter, and conditions can be dangerous - over mast high isn't uncommon. Not the world's best place to learn to sail in waves...
The villages along the coastline from Tarifa to Canos De Meca are all brushed by the Levante, but none have Tarifa's conditions or facilities. The infamous "Secret Spot" became too popular, so it's been closed and made inaccessible to the public as it is on military land.

Poniente
Las Dunas picks up a reasonable swell but the wind is a bit too onshore and the waves not clean enough to suggest it as a wave sailing venue. But despite the tricky shorebreak, for the intermediate sailor it's perfect for improving in the safety of a sandy, rockless bay.
Back to the Hurricane Hotel and its close neighbours, the wind is cross-shore and often offers waves for jumping and even riding. There is no shorebreak but there are rocks.
Hostel Million is the best place to sail in a Poniente, and can prove to be a really testing wave sailing spot similar to dumping English channel soup, but without that hideous Oxtail colour.
As we move back towards town the wind be
comes more and more onshore, and any venue south of Rio Jara can offer good sailing, although getting out can be really hard work. Not only are the waves closing out near the shore (sometimes logo high....) but there's usually a strong rip washing downwind. So if your acceleration isn't up to much you'll find yourself drift
ing downstream towards Tarifa in no time at all.

Is Tarifa For Me?
Drenched with culture and credibility, Tarifa may seem just too hectic for the novice or intermediate. Well, if you are confident at waterstarting then you should get along just fine. Obviously when there is a 50 knot wind blowing offshore don't try sailing to Africa - use your head and stay close to the beach.
There are places where you could dare to expose a complete begin
ner to the sport, like the mouth of Rio Jara or - in onshore conditions - anywhere without too many waves. But Tarifa will always remain the hottest and hardest place for slalom sailing in Europe, perfect for improving in the seemingly eternal wind.
Rumours of hideous chop are unfair. I mean, what do you expect in a Force 10!? And the speed course is the longest and flattest stretch of open water as yet discovered on planet earth! The reality is that there's such a variety of sea states on offer it's up to you. If you'd like to improve in chop you can. If it's waves you want you shall have them and if miles of flat water is your dream you can live that too.
One thing which could prove a problem to some sailors is the variety of winds and therefore the amount of kit required. As a bare minimum I would recommend 2 short boards, one for lighter winds and one wave board for strong winds. Rig wise, take a 3.5/3.7 and 4.7m wave, plus a 5.7m and 6.5m slalom. Spare fins and harness lines should be packed too!
Coming from our colder climate I have found I rarely need more than a short arm/long leg summer suit even in the depths of Tarifan winter. In the summer a shortjohn is usually more than enough (nevertheless you still get some weirdos with full steamers on, usually not from the UK....).
 
The Alternatives.
This place has obviously been the windsurfing cheese of Europe for some time, but with a recent lack of wind we've seen a new breed of "born again surfers" in the water. Yes, Tarifa in winter is fast becoming a popular surfing venue with reef, point and beach breaks offering a variety of conditions from suicide drops at El Palmar to gentle clean shoulders near Las Dunas. The opening of El Rincon, Tarifa's first shop on the main road dedicated purely to surfing, is a sign of the times.
Playa Balenarios sometimes works but changes for the worse every year, whereas Hostel Million and Hurricane are getting better as the reef becomes exposed. Somewhere between here and Las Dunas is a secret spot I hardly dare mention which sometimes gives easy rights for 200m rides. Mmmmmmm. Take a walk from Las Dunas North and a variety of breaks on rocks are hot but could be considered dangerous. Further north Zahara and Barbate both have breaks worth checking out, but the real cream is El Palmar and Canos De Meca, both only for the experi
enced. Say no more.
The terrain around Tarifa couldn't be better for mountain biking, with big treks and insane views aplenty. Routes can be planned and bikes hired from both 100% Fun near Las Dunas and Indian Biker in town.
There are more far-fetched alternatives like horse riding from either the Hurricane Hotel or Hotel Dos Mares, which also has tennis courts (not that horses play tennis). There's plenty of good climbing to be had too, not too far inland.
One of the more unusual but highly recommended alternatives is to learn Spanish. Nick is the local surfing and windsurfing wild man who, despite qualifica
tions worthy of an Oxford don, resides in Tarifa and works from the Hurricane Hotel, where he can be contacted. Whether you want to ask an old man directions to the hospital or a young lady directions to her bedroom, Nick can arrange it for you!
Diving and snorkling is also available at Las Dunas. From the snorkling I've done I wouldn't rate Tarifa, but I'm told there are a number of interesting wrecks and the sea life is quite alive.
Cultural sight seeing is particularly good here, with the cities of Cadiz and Seville in easy reach and quieter quaint villages crumbling off mountain sides are dotted all around. And for a measly twenty quid you could even sample African tourism in Morocco (that's just the ferry ticket and not what you'd be conned into spending there). A better idea would be to venture a little deeper into Morocco and escape the tourism for some full-on ethnic immersion.

Social Scene
Partying in the winter has a typically Spanish flavour with Flamenco and salsa sauce. Don't ever expect to nip down the pub at nine-ish - they don't even open until after eleven! Excessiveness is usually reserved for Saturday nights; in the summer though nothing is reserved - every
thing is excessive, everywhere, all the time. As with all decent Hispanic locations, the big fiestas are in September and around the end of February. Fancy dress is the code for both, and be prepared for free sangria and anything that might lead to! Another good week of partying is during the PBA Speed/Slalom where you can rub your shoulders against Bjoern's and Whitey's hips, get your T
shirts ripped off and be generally beaten to near death by the PBA stars in full steam, not to mention the Spanish chiquitas and mental tequilas. Summer partying in Tarifa is probably the best you'll find anywhere not on Earth!

Accommodation
An unprecedented variety, ranging from bumming it in a bus to living it up in the Hurricane. The choice is all yours, but I've tried most and frankly, I think bumming it in the bus is best if you've got time to get it there and can handle sandwiches with sand in them. Tarific Holidays offer the whole lot, including their own apartments on the beach which are highly recommended. They also have the Brady bunch (Patrick and Bridget) down there offering much more than just apartment keys; they're happy to make all your alternative arrangements to create a package holiday deal for those who want more. Get in touch with them through Tarific Holidays. For longer stays there are those rare finds of old farmhouses in the Campo, or apartments in the town.
Camping in caravans or tents is superbly catered for in the campsites along the coast, although in the height of summer they tend to overflow and are not cheap; expect to blow at least a fiver a day just for the privilege of showers and security! Alternatively, venture towards the hills for undisturbed tranquillity. In winter the Police are cool about vans scattered all over the gaff, but beware of early morning shake-ups in the summer when they hotten up their act to polish up the place.

Travel
London to Malaga flights are the cheapest in Europe, starting from a ridiculous fifty quid return if you're lucky. These flights are invar
iably charter flights, so charge an average rate of thirty quid per board bag. Always check and confirm in writing your excess baggage arrangements prior to your departure. Again Tarific Holidays can do all this for you. Tarifa is about 2 to 3 hours drive from Malaga, and Gibraltar is less than half that. However, excess baggage rates to Gib are stupid because flights are scheduled and expensive; expect to pay as much as £300 each way with GB Airways....
You can drive down from any northern port of France without having to touch toll roads until Biarritz-ish, where it becomes well worth paying to avoid tourist traffic and cross the border to Spain. Likewise, through Spain toll roads can be avoided. My favourite route is going to Salamanca, then south forever to Seville on the N 620. Alternatively you could go through Madrid on the improved motorway system which will transport you blindly south in no time at all in a fast car. Don't even contemplate heading down the Mediterranean coast of Spain through Barcelona. It will probably take you all summer.
Ferries cut the driving journey by more than half if you go to Santander or Bilbao. As always with long ferry journeys take your own food and some relaxing books or whatever to keep you calm in the Bay of Biscay swells.

Food
If you're self-catering then there are plenty of shops in town including the enormous Hipersol, but don't go there if you can avoid it. The small shops have all the provisions you'll ever need and offer a friendly service, plus you put something back into the community that way. There's a big fish market twice a week which also has fresh farm produce. Check it out by turning right under the arch and following the road down and round to the left.
Eating out could be described as gastronomic heaven with the delights of tapas and healthy feeds on fresh local fish. Tarifa is generally reasonably priced throughout. Years of searching for my stomach's ultimate refuelling stations combined with a personal quest to achieve taste bud orgasm has resulted in these recommendations...
The Hurricane Hotel serves generous portions at reasonable prices and is guaranteed to lift you to new heights of gastronomic ecstasy. The menu is extensive and you can wine and dine outside in their peaceful tropical gardens. They also have a delicious salad bar on the cliff top for light lunches with great views.
Pasta Italia Numero Uno, known locally as Maximo's place, serves the sexiest pizza outside of Italy and is the most popular place amongst locals and windsurfers alike. Try the chilli oil and any dish of the day for an experience matched only by sleeping with Cindy Crawford. (Guy... You haven't? Ed.)
Al Zochas is a large Tapas bar serving around forty different snacks all more exotic and appealing than Omar Shariff. Find it by travel
ling from the arch on the main road back out of town, take the fourth left and it's on your left three blocks down towards the bull ring.
Apart from the Hurricane and Meson El Toro, keep to the town for food. Hunt around the tapas bars for the best buys to suit whatever your sensory fetish is...