US Immigration, Puerto Rico. 11:44 hrs 17 / 1 / 03 

"Did you ever travel with another passport sir?"
"Yes, my old one. I renewed it in 2000. "
I was engulfed by Robocop's shadow, "Mr. Cribb, follow me." Handcuffs, guns and trunchens dangled from his waist, literally at my eye level. I shrugged goodbye to Shawna, not realising this could be the last time I ever saw her. He lead me into the high security area where the interrogations begun.

"When did you last visit the U.S.?"
"I was in Hawaii last year."
"Were you here in 1997?"
"Yes, I flew into San Fransisco for a week."
"Our records show you never left in 1997. We have reason to believe you have been here ever since."
"Whaaaaaaattttttt!!!!!!!!!?????????"
"What do you do for a living? Why is your passport full of Egyptian visas? What do you do in Turkey? Why are you here?"

Fortunately there were no rubber gloves or sentence to Death Row, as I was able to convince them that I hadn't been in the US since 1997, I'd merely forgotten to 'sign out' when I left. A close shave, and a reminder we were in the 'capable' hands of the US of A, and no longer in the Caribbean we were accustomed to.

Although the massive island of Puerto Rico is geographically Caribbean, and it's three and a half million salsa dancing residents speak Spanish, their passports make them US residents (I wonder if that was another blunder by US Immigration?) It's pretty strange; imagine arriving in Blighty and finding everyone speaking Spanish (big thanks goes out to Horatio and Sir Francis).

So in Puerto Rico owning a gun is legal, but having a cigarette in public is illegal. Actually that's just in California, here you seem to be allowed to do what you like. I opened the door to the Chinese restaurant one night still soaking from a surf, wrapped in a towel and my feet plastered in sand;

"Can I come in like this?"
"Of course, this is Puerto Rico!"

And this became the kind of beach vibe hospitality we experienced throughout our stay, even on the water from tattooed 'hard core' surfers, despite the rumours we'd heard of from gun fights to the inherent dangers of the US or Caribbean.

Instead of my potential free trip to Camp X-Ray, from the airport I had a three hour drive through an elongated shopping mall, (commonly known as a highway) with fast food chains repeating themselves on every block. At every set of traffic lights, and there were many, another slice of our Caribbean dream was engulfed by the American pie.

Co-inciding with the last minutes of our journey, as we turned off this deep fried forest drive thru, we chanced upon a radio station called 'Salsa Classica,' and with that America suddenly shrunk to our rear view mirror and Puerto Rico became as mental and rampant as a wet Spanish dream. And that's the way it stayed, so long as we kept off the highways.

Surfing Puerto Rico.
The beach and graffitied promenade was lined with street vendors grilling chicken, little men with big black moustaches, wearing vests and panama hats, fat women, those stray dogs which go hand in hand with the Latin environment and surfers. From all the surrounding town buildings, families gathered on their porches and stretched over their balconies like scenes from Evita. As if there wasn't enough atmosphere already, the air was full of salsa and surf spray. A huge swell had hit this weekend so the town was in festive spirits.

All the low pressure systems that pound Europe in the winter send swell pumping into the deep water north shore of PR, and today we were seeing the effect of a storm waving goodbye to America and setting sail for Ireland. The surf was huge. The heavy wave spot aptly named 'Gas Chambers' was firing and the beach was jeering like a crowd in the Colloseum.

In this twenty mile corner of northwest Puerto Rico, from Isabella to Rincon, there's twenty-seven famous surf breaks, and loads of secret spots. Surfing here runs as deep in Puerto Rican veins as salsa does.

Considering it's bang in between the British Virgin Islands and the Dominican Republic, it's bound to get trade winds too. So why isn't it a popular wavesailing location with a tourist catchment area of Europe and America?

Windsurfing.
Windsurfing in Puerto Rico is pretty hard core. The most accessible wave sailing location (all things considered) is at Shacks Beach. The heavy waves break over fire coral just inches under the surface and the launch site is infested with sea urchins. 

The first two days we were there, whilst our kit was still flying to us via Miami, we watched a couple of windsurfers sailing these perfect conditions. It was infuriating, as the next week the wind vanished.

And when it finally returned, it was incredibly light. I was on a 6.2m sail and 87 litre wave board the six days we sailed. That's about 8-12 knots of wind. I only did four jumps and they were during a fifteen minute gust (fortunately caught on film, see pics)!

But this isn't typical. OK, it's typical to read another 'you should have been here yesterday' feature, but with El Nino amongst other issues, the worlds' winds have literally been blown away. Two years ago, locals recorded good wave sailing conditions for seventy-three days in a row, starting just before Xmas.

Non Life Threatening Waves.

There are plenty of places to windsurf without as much risk of damage as at Shacks. However to sail with others, you'll need to link up with Velauno in San Juan (a great windsurfing shop and wealth of info and kit), or head to Guanica in the south west for cruising or basic wave sailing in winds which are typically about five knots stronger than the north shore.

Puerto Rico; Who's It For?

If you're an experienced surfer and wavesailor wanting non-stop ocean action, PR is a dream location relatively close to home. You'll need a floaty wave board and big wave sails, as you would throughout the Caribbean.

I can't recommend it for learning to sail in waves though as when you fall off it's so shallow you can't kick your legs to waterstart and the current is tearing you downwind so fast, it's hard to get enough wind in your sail to get going again, exactly like Ho'okipa in Maui.

Be prepared to have your luff sleeve torn on the reef, your board dinged and your feet peppered with sea urchins at the very least.

The downside is it's expensive to get to, there's almost no other windsurfers around, it doesn't have a very Caribbean feel, there's not much nightlife and the chicks are fat.

Bearing all this in mind though, we'd definitely go back because we surfed every single day for the sixteen days we were there in amazing conditions, in a pair of shorts (Guy).

The trouble is, as we were driving to the airport to leave, the police finally caught up with us driving at European speeds, and gave me a $200 ticket, which of course I haven't paid yet. So if we do go back, as I go through San Juan airport it'll be the familiar routine of "Mr. Cribb, follow me."

FACT FILE

Windsurfing shop and info
http://www.velauno.com/

Accommodation:
http://www.villatropical.com/

Surfing
There's plenty of surf shops around to point you in the right direction, but it's better if you already have the basics of surfing sussed. Make sure you've planned your exit from the waves before you enter the ocean.

Flights
PR is only three hours from New York. With a big swell forecast, surfers fly in from all over the States for only a couple of hundred dollars. But there were very few Europeans, partly because the only direct flights are from Spain. The cheapest route would be to go via Miami.

Sight Seeing.
We saw humpback whales daily and there's plenty of boat trips available.

Diving can be very good with visibility up to 300 ft! And it's best at Shacks Beach, where snorkling is good too if the swell ever disappears.

There's huge caves, waterfalls and jungles, which might all interest a non-windsurfer, but we were too surfed out for any of that.

Security.
Like almost everywhere in the Caribbean, although it looks laid back, treat it like a city.

Eating.
Prepare to put on weight as most of the food is highly processed. There wasn't an isle in the supermarket that didn't have a sugar product on it and there's no butter, only a massive selection of stuff faking it.

Sea food is amazing and can be bought from the fisherman as they come into Crashboat Beach.

Drinking.
Puerto Rico is where Bacardi comes from. And where Jennifer Lopez comes from. You'd have to drink a hell of a lot of Bacardi though to find her here.